I Remain in Darkness

 I have searched for my mother’s love in all corners of the world.  This is not literature that I am writing.  I can see the difference with my other books.  Or rather, no,  I can’t,  for I am incapable of producing books that are not precisely that–an attempt to salvage part of our lives, to understand, but first to salvage.  Over the phone, Annie M told me that it was impossible to express emotion directly; we need to resort to stratagems.  I’m not so sure.

. . . All the hardships I have endured were merely rehearsals to prepare me for this devastating pain.


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